My four-month-old son starts to be more awake. What used to be 45 minutes turned into 2 hours. Min’an and I scrambled to figure out what to do. There are only so many things we can do around the home to entertain him. Feed him, put him on his back, then put him on his tummy, then walk with him, then sit him on a chair.
I scrolled for toys that can captivate his attention, something that can make a lot of noise. But instead, I found a book called Your Self-confident Baby by Magda Gerber. I’m so glad I found this book instead.
Magda Gerber founded a parenting movement called RIE, which stands for Resources for Infant Educarers. What’s so attractive about RIE is the following: it’s not the parents' job to play with the baby. It’s the baby’s own responsibility to play on their own. RIE advocates for long sessions of independent play, where babies as young as a few days are encouraged to explore their surroundings independently.
Max at this point of his life, is pretty used to drastic changes caused by new books that his mother read, so we decided to try RIE on him. Before RIE, every time he cried, we would help him stand. This caused him to want to stand a lot, and when we didn’t let him, he cried.
RIE’s approach to this is to let him cry while talking to him. If he didn’t reduce the intensity of the cry, I would then touch his hands and body while telling him that he looks uncomfortable. When that did not work, I would sit him on my lap. Sometimes, he settled again so I could slide him down to the playmat to let him continue to play independently.
After a week, he stopped expecting to be assisted to stand, and is able to play independently for 30-40 minutes. I pass him the toys he chooses himself, then he stays on the playmat, either playing with the toys or licking his hands (that’s his favourite pastime at the moment).
I am astonished at this result, I didn’t think I’ll be able to study Chinese while caring for him, but now I can on good days. I’m so glad for the internet introducing me to RIE. I cannot wait for him to show me how to play like a child.